RICHARD KIRBY
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The third and final leg in what had been a really busy week was my stand-up farewell at The Stand Comedy Club back in Newcastle last night. This third attempt was only planned because my second (in Middlesbrough last year) hadn’t gone as well as I’d hoped… unfinished business and all that.
 
My slot was at 8.54p.m. (all very regimented…), towards the end of the first half and despite my nerves, I have to say that the self-deprecating intro and selection of what I hoped were humorous one-liners went down better than I could have ever possibly imagined.
 
Nothing fell flat, and one “joke” (obviously in the loosest sense of the word) got applause… actual real applause!!!
 
I will share it with you, but only on the understanding that the written version doesn’t reflect the sublime quality of verbal delivery (nor my ability to lie)… anyway, here goes: “Some Native Americans are still relying on smoke signals to communicate after giving up on mobile phones because they could only get apache reception….” © Richard Kirby (Comedy Gold) 2016
 
After I’d come off stage, one of the other acts actually asked why I was packing in, and several members of the hundred-plus audience came over to say they’d really enjoyed my “performance” (term used as per “joke” above); one even said I was “mint”… never been called that before.
 
It was an amazing few minutes, made all the more special because my wonderful wife Elaine was there to see it. I love you darling; and I promise that I have definitely retired!