9. Danielle Brown MBE
The first offering of 2021 features a remarkable young woman who is a double individual Paralympic gold medallist, a multiple world champion, and a Commonwealth team gold medal winner in the able-bodied version of her chosen sport.
As if that wasn’t enough, she’s also a first-class honours Law graduate, a published writer, and an MBE…
Armed with my slightly less-impressive grade 3 trumpet and 25-metre breaststroke certificates and a book about trains I bought with a school prize I won for working really hard back in 1973, it was only right that my opening question to compound archer Danielle Brown set the journalistic bar as high as possible.
Tell me about the pink hat you wore in the London 2012 final…
Danielle laughed: “Well I didn’t just wear it in 2012. It did get referred to as my ‘lucky hat’ and I have to admit I ended up calling it that: not necessarily because I thought it was lucky, but I just really liked the colour!
“I actually bought it at the World Championships in 2007. We were out in South Korea and we were staying in the weirdest place. We were in this hotel, but underneath was a supermarket; you just got the lift down and ended up in this huge supermarket … I’d never seen anything like it. I randomly found this hat; it fitted me and I loved the colour. So I bought it and always enjoyed competing in it; it let the right amount of light in – not too dark, not too bright, or too glary when I was looking at the target. I absolutely loved it for that reason and wore it all the time because it suited me so well from that visual aspect.
“I only ever had the one hat, I could never get hold of a spare; but I had to get special dispensation to wear it in London, because we all had to wear regulated uniforms and clothing. The hats they had were just too big, so I had to convince them that my hat was actually a really important part of my equipment. In the end, I was given permission, but I had to cover up a flower - it wasn’t even a logo - before I could wear it!”
Danielle had already won Paralympic gold in Beijing four years earlier, but was there a difference - an increase maybe - in the pressure between becoming a Paralympic champion for the first time, to trying to repeat that success in a home Games?
“Absolutely! So many people talk about a home crowd advantage, but in many ways, I actually thought it was a home crowd disadvantage. It was so nice that there were so many people there to support you, but that year I was the hot favourite; I’d won the last Paralympics, I’d won every major title for the last five years, I was world number one and on the able-bodied team; so everyone expected me to win. Every week, I was getting phone calls from journalists, and they’d all say ‘you’re the hot favourite; you must feel under so much pressure, how do you feel?’ … well I felt great until you asked me that!
“You’d try so hard not to think about the pressure and to focus on what you were doing, but that was all people were bringing it back to; and the closer we got to the Games, the more nervous I became. I definitely started to feel that pressure and did find it tough … there was no escape. Every time you turned on the TV, the ads would have the Olympic rings; you couldn’t go to the supermarket, because the food was branded, and you couldn’t walk down the street because of the billboards and posters…
“So, I ended up getting rid of all my social media apps; I’d check my phone during that competition week just to look at the time, and there’d be so many lovely messages from people wishing me good luck; but it was all just adding to the pressure that I felt I was under. So yes, it was very hard, and I did find it difficult.”
When I watched back the 2012 final against Mel Clarke, it was noticeable that there was a lady several metres behind Danielle who was talking to her before every single shot. As Danielle took aim, you could just make out phrases like: “Get your thumb on the trigger Dani”. Did that affect focus or concentration at all; or was it some source of comfort or calm?
“That’s a great question!” Danielle nodded.
I think I should probably just leave that there for a moment…
Okay, back to Danielle…
“I had the team psychologist behind me, that’s who was shouting to me. I built my own coaching team, around me and found a group that really worked well for me, but my personal coach – a brilliant guy called Kim Lucas – wasn’t on the GB team, so he wasn’t actually with me in London. He had done all this work in the background, getting me prepared and ready for the competition, and then I was with the GB team for the event.
“Because I was struggling with the pressure, I was rushing through my shot a little bit; and what I do to try and keep my focus is to talk my way through the shot. Archery is a repetition sport, it’s about doing the same thing over and over again to get that level of consistency; but if you do the same thing physically, but not mentally, then you’re not actually doing the same thing. So I always try and use the same words, the same routine in my head, as I do physically; but I was struggling with this in London.
“I was rushing through my shots a little bit, they weren’t quite as clean as I wanted, so the psychologist came up with the idea of talking through the shot. To be honest, it was a sticking plaster for that event, but I was able to win, so it must have helped in some small way!”
Continuing with the theme of pressure, Danielle had beaten Mel Clarke in the 2008 semi-final, before facing her again in the gold medal match in London. Did the fact that she’d defeated her opponent once before in the cauldron of Paralympic competition reduce any pressure or nerves at all?
“No, it definitely didn’t take the pressure off,” was the emphatic response. “I always go back to my first international. We shoot a ranking round first which places you in order for the matchplay that follows. In the ranking round of my first international, I broke two world records; I was absolutely stoked … first time representing my country, I just obliterated my older and more experienced competitors, and I was so excited about this because the matchplay was the bit that I was good at.
“Every time I’d been put under pressure before, my scores had gone up, and I walked out in my first international thinking it would be a walkover. I’d done so well and expected to continue performing well … and I didn’t. I just got so nervous and completely fell to pieces. I was top of the rankings, but my opponent absolutely thrashed me!
“I took so much learning from that moment … never to be complacent, never expect to win, and to treat myself as my biggest competitor, because at the end of the day, only I can affect my performance.
“So at events after that, I tended to not necessarily focus on my competition. The reality is that over 12 or 15 arrows, it can be anybody’s match; and if I’m worrying about the other person, or equally thinking this is going to be easy, then I think that can affect my performance … and not for the better. So I definitely felt the pressure because I knew Mel was very capable of shooting a series of really good arrows.”
With Danielle having shot first, the final hinged on Mel Clarke’s last arrow. She needed to score nine to force a shoot-off and an arrow in the inner gold ring would be rewarded with the gold medal. How did Danielle feel in those moments before her opponent’s final arrow hit the target?
“A lot of it is training and being able to keep control of your emotions,” she admitted. “Once I’d shot my last arrow, there was nothing more I could do; it was just a case of waiting, but honestly when she was shooting her last arrow it did feel like it went on for ever!
“I’m pretty rubbish at maths and didn’t realise she could win – in that moment, I thought that even if she got a ten, it would still be a draw! All you can do is watch, wait and hope it goes your way…
“I wasn’t lucky to be shooting first; I’d won the ranking round, so I got to choose whether I went first or second; and I decided to go first because I do think you have that advantage as your opponent always has to play catch-up.”
Mel Clarke scored seven with her last arrow, and there were wonderful scenes as Danielle became a double Paralympic champion. I knew that her family had been able to watch the final; was she able to spend any time with them?
“I got to see a little bit of my family that evening, but it was such a shame for my Mum, Dad and my sisters because they’d travelled down to watch the event, and we’d arranged to meet up at the Team GB meeting house afterwards; and I was so looking forward to it.
“But I literally got five minutes with my parents … actually maybe not even that long, before I was told I was told I had to do some media work. My Dad almost had to beg for a family photo before I was rushed away…
“Actually it took quite a long time after London 2012 to be able to see them properly,” Danielle continued. “I’d gone home and was really looking forward to having a duvet day because you’re on the go for so long and just don’t get the chance to rest. I think people might have expected me to be out partying, but I just wanted to lie on the sofa, have a movie marathon, eat pizza and chocolate, and just spend one day resting.
“I was halfway through my duvet day when I got a phone call from national governing body saying that someone had dropped out of the able-bodied finals for the world cup, I was next on the list and did I want to go to Tokyo on Tuesday … that was on the Thursday! I said yes, but only if my personal coach could come with me, which they agreed to, so I was in Japan less than a week later, which was really cool, but it meant I was delayed seeing my family.”
Obviously the gold medal in London was both a wonderful moment, and an incredible achievement; but when and how did Danielle first show an interest in the sport?
At this point, I need to mention there are two main types of bow; recurve and compound. I would never profess to have the technical knowledge to explain the differences, I’ll simply say that a recurve bow resembles what I think would be most people’s visual image of a bow, whereas the compound alternative is a far more complicated contraption comprising a more elaborate frame with wires and pulleys. Apologies if that is of no help at all.
“I was 15-years old and started – as pretty much everyone does – on a wooden training bow at a local archery club. The training bows are very basic recurves; … and do you know I was rubbish at it!
“But I also loved it, and I was back doing a sport – my disability meant that I had to stop playing a lot of sport – and archery was just so much fun. After I’d finished my six-week course, I said to my Dad that I really wanted to continue with archery. He said that was fine, but instead of rushing out and buying a bow, we did some research. I’d seen a couple of people with compounds at the club and my first impression was that it didn’t even look like a bow!
“It had all these cams and pulleys; it looked so weird, and at first I wasn’t all that keen; but when we did our research, we found the bow was a lot more adjustable, so you could effectively grow with the bow … I was 15, so that was really important.
“My parents were brilliant, but they didn’t just want archery to be a fad; they didn’t want to spend a lot of money for me to then decide I didn’t want to do it after a couple of months. They said if I was serious, they’d support me, but I had to buy my first bow, which I did out of my savings. It turned out that I was a lot better with the compound than with the recurve, so very much a win win!”
A fascinating insight for sure, but having savings at 15?! It certainly wasn’t like that in my day…
Danielle suffers from complex regional pain syndrome in her feet. I didn’t really know anything about the condition, but how did the symptoms first appear. Was it a sudden onset, or something that happened more gradually?
“For me it was more of a longer process” Danielle explained; “the pain started off-and-on when I was 11-years old, and it got gradually worse. When I was 13, it was the year of the foot and mouth outbreak, and I always remember that because my family is very active and sporty, we would spend most weekends walking or cycling; but that year a lot of fields and treks were closed, so my Dad was busy grumbling about it because he couldn’t go for his run!
“In some ways I was quite grateful though, because I was struggling to do a lot of the things I’d used to be able to do; so it didn’t happen overnight, but it had a huge impact on my life.
“Obviously it affected me physically. I was unable to run around; I was struggling to walk without aids – I’d use crutches for short distances and wheelchair for longer distance – and just getting round school became an issue, so, yes, it was quite tough.
“Psychologically it affected me a lot as well, although I suppose I didn’t necessarily recognise it at the time. It shattered my self-esteem. I went from being this bubbly, outgoing kid, to becoming quite withdrawn … I think pain in itself can be quite exhausting. I started to really worry about my future, worry if people would look beyond the crutches or the wheelchair to see the value within.
“Getting involved in archery really transformed that for me; going to the Paralympics and seeing the most amazing people achieving incredible things … and how they coped with their disability. And meeting people my own age with disabilities, I hadn’t ever really had that exposure before, so archery really helped turn everything around.”
To go through something like that at any time of life must be unimaginably hard, but to have to deal with so much pain and, I suppose, uncertainty whilst becoming a teenager with all the issues that adolescence can present feels even worse. It must have been difficult for Danielle’s parents as well..?
“Yes, it was really hard for both of them, especially my Mum … or perhaps it was more noticeable with my Mum. She got very upset, particularly with how the condition was affecting me at the time. It also took a long time to get a diagnosis; my first trip to London was to Great Ormond Street Hospital. I was 16 at the time, so we spent five years trying to figure out what it was.
“My parents always pushed me with the physio exercises; they were so painful, but they definitely helped me build my mental strength, and I’m very grateful to my parents for that…
“I do remember having an MRI scan. It was actually to test for brain and spinal tumours … now, I didn’t know this!
Danielle smiled at the memory. “My balance had deserted me and I’d gone to a hospital appointment for a peanut allergy that I’ve got, and the consultant just said they’d get me an MRI scan. They were testing me for tumours, but my parents kind of hid that bit from me because they didn’t want me to worry.
“So I thought I was having the scan to figure out what was wrong with me. I remember going to the physio afterwards and she said it was good news that the MRI was clear … and I was like, no it isn’t!
“I was there hoping they could find a name for my condition so they could fix it. I never really saw the possibility of it still being a long process once they knew what it was. I just figured a couple of tablets or whatever and everything would be okay!”
However, when the diagnosis was finally found, it came with the awful news that the condition had no cure. Again, that must have come as a massive blow?
“By that point I’d had it for five years, and I think it was just a case of getting on with it. I’d taken up archery by then, I was busy with my studies, and I was just focussing on what I had to do to get through each day really.”
What struck me at the time, but even more on listening back to our chat is not just how articulate Danielle is, but also how expressive her hands are as she talks. She relates all the highs and lows in such a natural and engaging way that you can’t help but become involved, invested and totally engrossed in her story; and without wanting to jump too far ahead, it comes as no surprise that this young lady makes such a difference as a speaker, coach and mentor.
Outstanding young athletes can enjoy considerable and often relatively comfortable success within their age group, but there can be setbacks when making the transition into senior competition against more experienced opponents. Was that something that Danielle faced?
“I didn’t, but a lot of that is down to my coaches. I was coached by this wonderful couple at my local club, Ian and Renee Metcalfe. They were amazing; they used to take me to competitions round the whole of the north of England, and they were so good, not just as coaches, but also as an adult influence while I was a teenager, really helping me to grow and develop…
“After I’d only been in the sport for about a year, they advised me to go straight into senior competition, and do you know it worked really well. If I did rubbish, I could always justify it to myself because I was in the senior class; and even if I wasn’t in last place, it was like wow, I’ve beaten a senior! And that’s how I started making my way up the rankings...
“When I turned 18, becoming a senior wasn’t an issue, because I was already competing quite well on a regional level, if not a national level; and that really helped with the mental side of the sport.”
Even so, from novice to Paralympic gold medallist in five years is remarkable…
“I guess it was all a bit of a whirlwind. I think some of it is to do with the team around you, and I was very fortunate in that respect. Like I said, I was so bad when I picked up a bow to start with, but that couple at my club believed in me and told me they saw my potential … and that gave me so much encouragement.
“Really I used my archery as a way of dealing with my disability; if I was well enough to get through school, then I was well enough to go to archery at the end of the day and I would focus on that rather than the pain I was in … it was still there, just not what I was thinking about.
“So it was an escape for me; I did get a bit obsessive, and I did practice most days … and I started to improve. The Metcalfes took me under their wing, and introduced me to people across Yorkshire, and I was soon on the Yorkshire squad, which I was amazed about, and it all grew from there really!
“When you look back, I suppose five years is really quick, but when you’re doing it, it’s all about getting to the next milestone and once you’ve hit that, it’s where do I go from here, and I was so lucky to have people showing me the path.”
So if you have that focus on the next milestone, what happens when you reached the pinnacle of your sport with that first Paralympic gold medal?
“I found it so strange in Beijing because I’d won the world championships the year before [2007] and it was the best feeling in the world. I remember going to bed that night and I couldn’t sleep. I was buzzing, I had all these images from the day going through my head, and it was just the most elation I’d ever felt…
“In Beijing, I expected the same feeling, but when I’d won and I was on the podium, I just didn’t get the emotions to start with – I’d just won, is something wrong; why am I not buzzing the same way I’d done previously? I think it took a while because it was such a big event and I’d worked so hard for the Paralympics. Obviously I was proud, happy … relieved, but there was also that sense of where do I go now?”
Between Beijing and London, Danielle won a team gold medal with England’s able-bodied team at the 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi. Was that a particular goal?
“I did want to compete with the able-bodied guys; I believed I could do it … but just not that year. I was in my final year of studying law at university in Leicester and my scores had been on the cusp of qualification, but they just weren’t quite there. Over the Easter holidays, we usually went to the Arizona Cup for a Paralympic training camp. I’d got a new bow over the winter and just went out at the beginning of the season – at time when you’re usually just building yourself up – and I got a PB [personal best], which was amazing … then the next day, I did it again!
“I got back to the hotel and received this e-mail saying I’d just shot the selection scores for the Commonwealth Games, the selection shoot is on Saturday, do you want to go?
“I was about to turn it down, because I’d spent all this time in Arizona, not studying! I had taken my books with me, but just didn’t get time to study. My exams meant a lot to me, I wanted a first-class degree, I believed I was capable of it; and I was worried that my results might be affected if I took another day out. I’d have to get back from America, deal with the jet lag then shoot against the top able-bodied ladies in the country … I’d just thought I didn’t have a chance and it would be a wasted day.
“But my team mates persuaded me to go for it. Archery hadn’t been in the Commonwealth Games for 28 years, I might as well take the opportunity; and to be honest, playing with bows and arrows, or sitting in a room working all day … I didn’t take much convincing to be fair!
“I turned up the next Saturday, still jet-lagged, I think I’d got to sleep about two in the morning and had to be up at six o’clock, so I really didn’t have any expectations. I just drove from my Halls of Residence in Leicester straight to Lilleshall - I didn’t even book a hotel close-by, which I would do normally - and I shot another PB and won!
“A few months later, after all my exams were out of the way and I was back training, I managed to hang on to the team position in the trials. I graduated with a first-class degree the same week I was named in the Commonwealth Games squad!”
After so much success, Danielle decided to commit herself to a third Paralympics in Rio 2016, but those plans and dreams were shattered in 2013, when Danielle’s condition was reclassified and she was deemed ineligible for disabled competition.
What follows needs no further comment…
“I wasn’t expecting it. I knew the rules were changing, but my disability did – and still does – affect my life. At the world championships, we were classified as we got knocked out of the competition; I made it all the way through to the finals [in 2013], so I got reclassified on the last day in what I can only describe as humiliating and harrowing circumstances.
“The physios were pushing and pulling my feet round, I was screaming in pain; then they turned round and asked why I was screaming … you wear shoes and socks! I was in so much pain; I was unable to walk away from the physio’s bed afterwards. I fell on the floor and they said why are you pretending to be paralysed? It was so humiliating and I was unable to eat, sleep or walk for two days afterwards because I was in so much pain.
“The next day the national governing body told me I’d ‘failed’ my classification – that was the word they used - and I remember thinking what do I do now? I’ve given everything up for this sport. I didn’t realise at the time, but I went through the whole cycle of grief. It was so tough to start with. I didn’t believe they’d made the right decision. It had taken doctors five years to figure out what was wrong with me in the first place, and I just assumed these physios didn’t understand the medical condition and how it affected me on a daily basis.
“I was so frustrated. I’d try and carry a cup of tea and I’d fall over, or I’d struggle to get my foot up a step and I just didn’t understand why they couldn’t see this. I protested and appealed the decision, although we ended up making things slightly worse. Anybody with my condition is no longer eligible on the basis that one day we may get better!
“London 2012 did some wonderful things for para-sport, but it also put some barriers up and made it more exclusive rather than inclusive.”
With that, Danielle had little choice but to retire from elite competition. It can be difficult when any sporting career comes to an end; some are fortunate to be able to make the decision on their own terms, for others the end comes under circumstances that simply can’t be controlled. How did Danielle cope?
“I just think I had to. I had a mortgage and bills to pay, but the decision had been made. I received four months of my funding, then that was it – no severance package, nothing; I was on my own; but that’s the nature of sport. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, because I didn’t really have any experience outside my degree or sport.
“Eventually, I decided to set up a business. It gave me a new purpose, it was something I was passionate about, and now I can still engage in the sporting world – just in a different way. I’m probably even more passionate about what I’m doing now, because not only is it about delivering a great service, it’s about helping others and making a difference; and to me that feels even better than standing on a podium.”
Over the previous hour or so, it had become abundantly clear that I couldn’t ask a question without a stammer, or a liberal smattering of phrases like ‘you know’, ‘sort of’ and ‘kind of’. I’ve pushed myself to try and speak or perform in public, but as I listened back to our chat, the evidence was very much against giving up the day job. How hard did Danielle find that transition from athlete to public speaker?
“A bit like my shooting I was rubbish when I first started, Danielle grinned. “I got really nervous, but I love it because it’s very much like sport; you’re out there, you can’t hide, you’ve got to deliver and be perfect. I learned … and I learned that I love it!
“I think I was lucky to get invited to school events in the beginning, so I could practice my technique … and it’s great when you’ve got these little kids asking the daftest questions afterwards. You’ll do a whole session on archery then someone will ask if you do gymnastics…!”
I gave myself a silent reprimand – why wasn’t this one of my questions?
“Or, do you have a dog! It’s just such a great environment. I love it so much.
“It also taught me about my style, what worked well and what didn’t work so well, and that helped me progress to the more corporate, meatier and grittier events.”
Next on the horizon for this genuinely inspiring young woman is the chance to take part in an event organised by Team CLAW (Conquer Land Air and Water) in which Danielle will be one of a disabled team attempting the largest ever scuba dive in the open sea, and in the process looking to shatter perceptions about disability.
The prospect of diving underwater at this time of year held limited appeal, but when Danielle explained that the event was taking place in the Maldives, I felt duty-bound to offer to carry Danielle’s luggage – only to quickly discover I was at the back of a particularly long queue.
And after that?
“I just love what I’m doing, I love being involved with the Mintridge Foundation, being one of their ambassadors and supporting them, because the work they do is phenomenal. They’re so good in terms of what they actually deliver, but also how they look after the athletes. You’re part of this big team, and it’s just lovely.
“I do have some big plans and ideas, but yes, just to continue supporting people, particularly at this moment in time when life is so tough – especially for kids; so anything I can do to help; I’m keen to do so.”
© Richard Kirby and Danielle Brown 2021
As if that wasn’t enough, she’s also a first-class honours Law graduate, a published writer, and an MBE…
Armed with my slightly less-impressive grade 3 trumpet and 25-metre breaststroke certificates and a book about trains I bought with a school prize I won for working really hard back in 1973, it was only right that my opening question to compound archer Danielle Brown set the journalistic bar as high as possible.
Tell me about the pink hat you wore in the London 2012 final…
Danielle laughed: “Well I didn’t just wear it in 2012. It did get referred to as my ‘lucky hat’ and I have to admit I ended up calling it that: not necessarily because I thought it was lucky, but I just really liked the colour!
“I actually bought it at the World Championships in 2007. We were out in South Korea and we were staying in the weirdest place. We were in this hotel, but underneath was a supermarket; you just got the lift down and ended up in this huge supermarket … I’d never seen anything like it. I randomly found this hat; it fitted me and I loved the colour. So I bought it and always enjoyed competing in it; it let the right amount of light in – not too dark, not too bright, or too glary when I was looking at the target. I absolutely loved it for that reason and wore it all the time because it suited me so well from that visual aspect.
“I only ever had the one hat, I could never get hold of a spare; but I had to get special dispensation to wear it in London, because we all had to wear regulated uniforms and clothing. The hats they had were just too big, so I had to convince them that my hat was actually a really important part of my equipment. In the end, I was given permission, but I had to cover up a flower - it wasn’t even a logo - before I could wear it!”
Danielle had already won Paralympic gold in Beijing four years earlier, but was there a difference - an increase maybe - in the pressure between becoming a Paralympic champion for the first time, to trying to repeat that success in a home Games?
“Absolutely! So many people talk about a home crowd advantage, but in many ways, I actually thought it was a home crowd disadvantage. It was so nice that there were so many people there to support you, but that year I was the hot favourite; I’d won the last Paralympics, I’d won every major title for the last five years, I was world number one and on the able-bodied team; so everyone expected me to win. Every week, I was getting phone calls from journalists, and they’d all say ‘you’re the hot favourite; you must feel under so much pressure, how do you feel?’ … well I felt great until you asked me that!
“You’d try so hard not to think about the pressure and to focus on what you were doing, but that was all people were bringing it back to; and the closer we got to the Games, the more nervous I became. I definitely started to feel that pressure and did find it tough … there was no escape. Every time you turned on the TV, the ads would have the Olympic rings; you couldn’t go to the supermarket, because the food was branded, and you couldn’t walk down the street because of the billboards and posters…
“So, I ended up getting rid of all my social media apps; I’d check my phone during that competition week just to look at the time, and there’d be so many lovely messages from people wishing me good luck; but it was all just adding to the pressure that I felt I was under. So yes, it was very hard, and I did find it difficult.”
When I watched back the 2012 final against Mel Clarke, it was noticeable that there was a lady several metres behind Danielle who was talking to her before every single shot. As Danielle took aim, you could just make out phrases like: “Get your thumb on the trigger Dani”. Did that affect focus or concentration at all; or was it some source of comfort or calm?
“That’s a great question!” Danielle nodded.
I think I should probably just leave that there for a moment…
Okay, back to Danielle…
“I had the team psychologist behind me, that’s who was shouting to me. I built my own coaching team, around me and found a group that really worked well for me, but my personal coach – a brilliant guy called Kim Lucas – wasn’t on the GB team, so he wasn’t actually with me in London. He had done all this work in the background, getting me prepared and ready for the competition, and then I was with the GB team for the event.
“Because I was struggling with the pressure, I was rushing through my shot a little bit; and what I do to try and keep my focus is to talk my way through the shot. Archery is a repetition sport, it’s about doing the same thing over and over again to get that level of consistency; but if you do the same thing physically, but not mentally, then you’re not actually doing the same thing. So I always try and use the same words, the same routine in my head, as I do physically; but I was struggling with this in London.
“I was rushing through my shots a little bit, they weren’t quite as clean as I wanted, so the psychologist came up with the idea of talking through the shot. To be honest, it was a sticking plaster for that event, but I was able to win, so it must have helped in some small way!”
Continuing with the theme of pressure, Danielle had beaten Mel Clarke in the 2008 semi-final, before facing her again in the gold medal match in London. Did the fact that she’d defeated her opponent once before in the cauldron of Paralympic competition reduce any pressure or nerves at all?
“No, it definitely didn’t take the pressure off,” was the emphatic response. “I always go back to my first international. We shoot a ranking round first which places you in order for the matchplay that follows. In the ranking round of my first international, I broke two world records; I was absolutely stoked … first time representing my country, I just obliterated my older and more experienced competitors, and I was so excited about this because the matchplay was the bit that I was good at.
“Every time I’d been put under pressure before, my scores had gone up, and I walked out in my first international thinking it would be a walkover. I’d done so well and expected to continue performing well … and I didn’t. I just got so nervous and completely fell to pieces. I was top of the rankings, but my opponent absolutely thrashed me!
“I took so much learning from that moment … never to be complacent, never expect to win, and to treat myself as my biggest competitor, because at the end of the day, only I can affect my performance.
“So at events after that, I tended to not necessarily focus on my competition. The reality is that over 12 or 15 arrows, it can be anybody’s match; and if I’m worrying about the other person, or equally thinking this is going to be easy, then I think that can affect my performance … and not for the better. So I definitely felt the pressure because I knew Mel was very capable of shooting a series of really good arrows.”
With Danielle having shot first, the final hinged on Mel Clarke’s last arrow. She needed to score nine to force a shoot-off and an arrow in the inner gold ring would be rewarded with the gold medal. How did Danielle feel in those moments before her opponent’s final arrow hit the target?
“A lot of it is training and being able to keep control of your emotions,” she admitted. “Once I’d shot my last arrow, there was nothing more I could do; it was just a case of waiting, but honestly when she was shooting her last arrow it did feel like it went on for ever!
“I’m pretty rubbish at maths and didn’t realise she could win – in that moment, I thought that even if she got a ten, it would still be a draw! All you can do is watch, wait and hope it goes your way…
“I wasn’t lucky to be shooting first; I’d won the ranking round, so I got to choose whether I went first or second; and I decided to go first because I do think you have that advantage as your opponent always has to play catch-up.”
Mel Clarke scored seven with her last arrow, and there were wonderful scenes as Danielle became a double Paralympic champion. I knew that her family had been able to watch the final; was she able to spend any time with them?
“I got to see a little bit of my family that evening, but it was such a shame for my Mum, Dad and my sisters because they’d travelled down to watch the event, and we’d arranged to meet up at the Team GB meeting house afterwards; and I was so looking forward to it.
“But I literally got five minutes with my parents … actually maybe not even that long, before I was told I was told I had to do some media work. My Dad almost had to beg for a family photo before I was rushed away…
“Actually it took quite a long time after London 2012 to be able to see them properly,” Danielle continued. “I’d gone home and was really looking forward to having a duvet day because you’re on the go for so long and just don’t get the chance to rest. I think people might have expected me to be out partying, but I just wanted to lie on the sofa, have a movie marathon, eat pizza and chocolate, and just spend one day resting.
“I was halfway through my duvet day when I got a phone call from national governing body saying that someone had dropped out of the able-bodied finals for the world cup, I was next on the list and did I want to go to Tokyo on Tuesday … that was on the Thursday! I said yes, but only if my personal coach could come with me, which they agreed to, so I was in Japan less than a week later, which was really cool, but it meant I was delayed seeing my family.”
Obviously the gold medal in London was both a wonderful moment, and an incredible achievement; but when and how did Danielle first show an interest in the sport?
At this point, I need to mention there are two main types of bow; recurve and compound. I would never profess to have the technical knowledge to explain the differences, I’ll simply say that a recurve bow resembles what I think would be most people’s visual image of a bow, whereas the compound alternative is a far more complicated contraption comprising a more elaborate frame with wires and pulleys. Apologies if that is of no help at all.
“I was 15-years old and started – as pretty much everyone does – on a wooden training bow at a local archery club. The training bows are very basic recurves; … and do you know I was rubbish at it!
“But I also loved it, and I was back doing a sport – my disability meant that I had to stop playing a lot of sport – and archery was just so much fun. After I’d finished my six-week course, I said to my Dad that I really wanted to continue with archery. He said that was fine, but instead of rushing out and buying a bow, we did some research. I’d seen a couple of people with compounds at the club and my first impression was that it didn’t even look like a bow!
“It had all these cams and pulleys; it looked so weird, and at first I wasn’t all that keen; but when we did our research, we found the bow was a lot more adjustable, so you could effectively grow with the bow … I was 15, so that was really important.
“My parents were brilliant, but they didn’t just want archery to be a fad; they didn’t want to spend a lot of money for me to then decide I didn’t want to do it after a couple of months. They said if I was serious, they’d support me, but I had to buy my first bow, which I did out of my savings. It turned out that I was a lot better with the compound than with the recurve, so very much a win win!”
A fascinating insight for sure, but having savings at 15?! It certainly wasn’t like that in my day…
Danielle suffers from complex regional pain syndrome in her feet. I didn’t really know anything about the condition, but how did the symptoms first appear. Was it a sudden onset, or something that happened more gradually?
“For me it was more of a longer process” Danielle explained; “the pain started off-and-on when I was 11-years old, and it got gradually worse. When I was 13, it was the year of the foot and mouth outbreak, and I always remember that because my family is very active and sporty, we would spend most weekends walking or cycling; but that year a lot of fields and treks were closed, so my Dad was busy grumbling about it because he couldn’t go for his run!
“In some ways I was quite grateful though, because I was struggling to do a lot of the things I’d used to be able to do; so it didn’t happen overnight, but it had a huge impact on my life.
“Obviously it affected me physically. I was unable to run around; I was struggling to walk without aids – I’d use crutches for short distances and wheelchair for longer distance – and just getting round school became an issue, so, yes, it was quite tough.
“Psychologically it affected me a lot as well, although I suppose I didn’t necessarily recognise it at the time. It shattered my self-esteem. I went from being this bubbly, outgoing kid, to becoming quite withdrawn … I think pain in itself can be quite exhausting. I started to really worry about my future, worry if people would look beyond the crutches or the wheelchair to see the value within.
“Getting involved in archery really transformed that for me; going to the Paralympics and seeing the most amazing people achieving incredible things … and how they coped with their disability. And meeting people my own age with disabilities, I hadn’t ever really had that exposure before, so archery really helped turn everything around.”
To go through something like that at any time of life must be unimaginably hard, but to have to deal with so much pain and, I suppose, uncertainty whilst becoming a teenager with all the issues that adolescence can present feels even worse. It must have been difficult for Danielle’s parents as well..?
“Yes, it was really hard for both of them, especially my Mum … or perhaps it was more noticeable with my Mum. She got very upset, particularly with how the condition was affecting me at the time. It also took a long time to get a diagnosis; my first trip to London was to Great Ormond Street Hospital. I was 16 at the time, so we spent five years trying to figure out what it was.
“My parents always pushed me with the physio exercises; they were so painful, but they definitely helped me build my mental strength, and I’m very grateful to my parents for that…
“I do remember having an MRI scan. It was actually to test for brain and spinal tumours … now, I didn’t know this!
Danielle smiled at the memory. “My balance had deserted me and I’d gone to a hospital appointment for a peanut allergy that I’ve got, and the consultant just said they’d get me an MRI scan. They were testing me for tumours, but my parents kind of hid that bit from me because they didn’t want me to worry.
“So I thought I was having the scan to figure out what was wrong with me. I remember going to the physio afterwards and she said it was good news that the MRI was clear … and I was like, no it isn’t!
“I was there hoping they could find a name for my condition so they could fix it. I never really saw the possibility of it still being a long process once they knew what it was. I just figured a couple of tablets or whatever and everything would be okay!”
However, when the diagnosis was finally found, it came with the awful news that the condition had no cure. Again, that must have come as a massive blow?
“By that point I’d had it for five years, and I think it was just a case of getting on with it. I’d taken up archery by then, I was busy with my studies, and I was just focussing on what I had to do to get through each day really.”
What struck me at the time, but even more on listening back to our chat is not just how articulate Danielle is, but also how expressive her hands are as she talks. She relates all the highs and lows in such a natural and engaging way that you can’t help but become involved, invested and totally engrossed in her story; and without wanting to jump too far ahead, it comes as no surprise that this young lady makes such a difference as a speaker, coach and mentor.
Outstanding young athletes can enjoy considerable and often relatively comfortable success within their age group, but there can be setbacks when making the transition into senior competition against more experienced opponents. Was that something that Danielle faced?
“I didn’t, but a lot of that is down to my coaches. I was coached by this wonderful couple at my local club, Ian and Renee Metcalfe. They were amazing; they used to take me to competitions round the whole of the north of England, and they were so good, not just as coaches, but also as an adult influence while I was a teenager, really helping me to grow and develop…
“After I’d only been in the sport for about a year, they advised me to go straight into senior competition, and do you know it worked really well. If I did rubbish, I could always justify it to myself because I was in the senior class; and even if I wasn’t in last place, it was like wow, I’ve beaten a senior! And that’s how I started making my way up the rankings...
“When I turned 18, becoming a senior wasn’t an issue, because I was already competing quite well on a regional level, if not a national level; and that really helped with the mental side of the sport.”
Even so, from novice to Paralympic gold medallist in five years is remarkable…
“I guess it was all a bit of a whirlwind. I think some of it is to do with the team around you, and I was very fortunate in that respect. Like I said, I was so bad when I picked up a bow to start with, but that couple at my club believed in me and told me they saw my potential … and that gave me so much encouragement.
“Really I used my archery as a way of dealing with my disability; if I was well enough to get through school, then I was well enough to go to archery at the end of the day and I would focus on that rather than the pain I was in … it was still there, just not what I was thinking about.
“So it was an escape for me; I did get a bit obsessive, and I did practice most days … and I started to improve. The Metcalfes took me under their wing, and introduced me to people across Yorkshire, and I was soon on the Yorkshire squad, which I was amazed about, and it all grew from there really!
“When you look back, I suppose five years is really quick, but when you’re doing it, it’s all about getting to the next milestone and once you’ve hit that, it’s where do I go from here, and I was so lucky to have people showing me the path.”
So if you have that focus on the next milestone, what happens when you reached the pinnacle of your sport with that first Paralympic gold medal?
“I found it so strange in Beijing because I’d won the world championships the year before [2007] and it was the best feeling in the world. I remember going to bed that night and I couldn’t sleep. I was buzzing, I had all these images from the day going through my head, and it was just the most elation I’d ever felt…
“In Beijing, I expected the same feeling, but when I’d won and I was on the podium, I just didn’t get the emotions to start with – I’d just won, is something wrong; why am I not buzzing the same way I’d done previously? I think it took a while because it was such a big event and I’d worked so hard for the Paralympics. Obviously I was proud, happy … relieved, but there was also that sense of where do I go now?”
Between Beijing and London, Danielle won a team gold medal with England’s able-bodied team at the 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi. Was that a particular goal?
“I did want to compete with the able-bodied guys; I believed I could do it … but just not that year. I was in my final year of studying law at university in Leicester and my scores had been on the cusp of qualification, but they just weren’t quite there. Over the Easter holidays, we usually went to the Arizona Cup for a Paralympic training camp. I’d got a new bow over the winter and just went out at the beginning of the season – at time when you’re usually just building yourself up – and I got a PB [personal best], which was amazing … then the next day, I did it again!
“I got back to the hotel and received this e-mail saying I’d just shot the selection scores for the Commonwealth Games, the selection shoot is on Saturday, do you want to go?
“I was about to turn it down, because I’d spent all this time in Arizona, not studying! I had taken my books with me, but just didn’t get time to study. My exams meant a lot to me, I wanted a first-class degree, I believed I was capable of it; and I was worried that my results might be affected if I took another day out. I’d have to get back from America, deal with the jet lag then shoot against the top able-bodied ladies in the country … I’d just thought I didn’t have a chance and it would be a wasted day.
“But my team mates persuaded me to go for it. Archery hadn’t been in the Commonwealth Games for 28 years, I might as well take the opportunity; and to be honest, playing with bows and arrows, or sitting in a room working all day … I didn’t take much convincing to be fair!
“I turned up the next Saturday, still jet-lagged, I think I’d got to sleep about two in the morning and had to be up at six o’clock, so I really didn’t have any expectations. I just drove from my Halls of Residence in Leicester straight to Lilleshall - I didn’t even book a hotel close-by, which I would do normally - and I shot another PB and won!
“A few months later, after all my exams were out of the way and I was back training, I managed to hang on to the team position in the trials. I graduated with a first-class degree the same week I was named in the Commonwealth Games squad!”
After so much success, Danielle decided to commit herself to a third Paralympics in Rio 2016, but those plans and dreams were shattered in 2013, when Danielle’s condition was reclassified and she was deemed ineligible for disabled competition.
What follows needs no further comment…
“I wasn’t expecting it. I knew the rules were changing, but my disability did – and still does – affect my life. At the world championships, we were classified as we got knocked out of the competition; I made it all the way through to the finals [in 2013], so I got reclassified on the last day in what I can only describe as humiliating and harrowing circumstances.
“The physios were pushing and pulling my feet round, I was screaming in pain; then they turned round and asked why I was screaming … you wear shoes and socks! I was in so much pain; I was unable to walk away from the physio’s bed afterwards. I fell on the floor and they said why are you pretending to be paralysed? It was so humiliating and I was unable to eat, sleep or walk for two days afterwards because I was in so much pain.
“The next day the national governing body told me I’d ‘failed’ my classification – that was the word they used - and I remember thinking what do I do now? I’ve given everything up for this sport. I didn’t realise at the time, but I went through the whole cycle of grief. It was so tough to start with. I didn’t believe they’d made the right decision. It had taken doctors five years to figure out what was wrong with me in the first place, and I just assumed these physios didn’t understand the medical condition and how it affected me on a daily basis.
“I was so frustrated. I’d try and carry a cup of tea and I’d fall over, or I’d struggle to get my foot up a step and I just didn’t understand why they couldn’t see this. I protested and appealed the decision, although we ended up making things slightly worse. Anybody with my condition is no longer eligible on the basis that one day we may get better!
“London 2012 did some wonderful things for para-sport, but it also put some barriers up and made it more exclusive rather than inclusive.”
With that, Danielle had little choice but to retire from elite competition. It can be difficult when any sporting career comes to an end; some are fortunate to be able to make the decision on their own terms, for others the end comes under circumstances that simply can’t be controlled. How did Danielle cope?
“I just think I had to. I had a mortgage and bills to pay, but the decision had been made. I received four months of my funding, then that was it – no severance package, nothing; I was on my own; but that’s the nature of sport. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, because I didn’t really have any experience outside my degree or sport.
“Eventually, I decided to set up a business. It gave me a new purpose, it was something I was passionate about, and now I can still engage in the sporting world – just in a different way. I’m probably even more passionate about what I’m doing now, because not only is it about delivering a great service, it’s about helping others and making a difference; and to me that feels even better than standing on a podium.”
Over the previous hour or so, it had become abundantly clear that I couldn’t ask a question without a stammer, or a liberal smattering of phrases like ‘you know’, ‘sort of’ and ‘kind of’. I’ve pushed myself to try and speak or perform in public, but as I listened back to our chat, the evidence was very much against giving up the day job. How hard did Danielle find that transition from athlete to public speaker?
“A bit like my shooting I was rubbish when I first started, Danielle grinned. “I got really nervous, but I love it because it’s very much like sport; you’re out there, you can’t hide, you’ve got to deliver and be perfect. I learned … and I learned that I love it!
“I think I was lucky to get invited to school events in the beginning, so I could practice my technique … and it’s great when you’ve got these little kids asking the daftest questions afterwards. You’ll do a whole session on archery then someone will ask if you do gymnastics…!”
I gave myself a silent reprimand – why wasn’t this one of my questions?
“Or, do you have a dog! It’s just such a great environment. I love it so much.
“It also taught me about my style, what worked well and what didn’t work so well, and that helped me progress to the more corporate, meatier and grittier events.”
Next on the horizon for this genuinely inspiring young woman is the chance to take part in an event organised by Team CLAW (Conquer Land Air and Water) in which Danielle will be one of a disabled team attempting the largest ever scuba dive in the open sea, and in the process looking to shatter perceptions about disability.
The prospect of diving underwater at this time of year held limited appeal, but when Danielle explained that the event was taking place in the Maldives, I felt duty-bound to offer to carry Danielle’s luggage – only to quickly discover I was at the back of a particularly long queue.
And after that?
“I just love what I’m doing, I love being involved with the Mintridge Foundation, being one of their ambassadors and supporting them, because the work they do is phenomenal. They’re so good in terms of what they actually deliver, but also how they look after the athletes. You’re part of this big team, and it’s just lovely.
“I do have some big plans and ideas, but yes, just to continue supporting people, particularly at this moment in time when life is so tough – especially for kids; so anything I can do to help; I’m keen to do so.”
© Richard Kirby and Danielle Brown 2021