OH ... THOSE WINTER NIGHTS (TELL ME MORE...)

As the nights close in, the temperature drops and working weeks just seem to get longer and longer, it always helps to have something “to look forward to” … a holiday, a concert, meal out, even a quiet bottle of wine and a couple of episodes of Corrie.
 
The fact that Elaine works quite a few late shifts and the occasional Sunday makes the time we can spend together even more precious. Ruby (quite rightly) is our main focus of attention, but we’ve also planned a couple of nights out … and as much as you’re probably not interested, I’m going to tell you about them anyway.
 
Later this month, a singer called Nicola Marie is performing at a pub in Normanby called (and this might surprise you)… The Normanby. I understand this young lady reached the “judges’ houses” on The X-Factor a few years ago, but as my reality talent show viewing began and ended with Hear’Say, I’ll just have to take it as read that she has a really good voice.
 
Nicola Marie will be performing a Madonna tribute – a type of act that is apparently very much in “Vogue” these days … ahhh… comedy to “Cherish”.
 
Think of a fish … any fish…
 
What? “Like a Sturgeon”?
 
The same venue is hosting a comedy night in early December. My own stand-up “career” (in the loosest possible sense of the word) ended at Elaine’s insistence at The Stand Comedy Club in Newcastle back in 2016, but on the basis that I won’t be allowed anywhere near the stage, you can have this one for free…
 
A man was rushed to hospital after a German sausage became stuck in his throat. Doctors managed to remove the object, but admitted that they’d definitely feared the wurst…
 
These two events are pretty much on our doorstep, but in between there’s an hour’s drive up the A1 to Gateshead to see a band called Epic Problem. It will be great to catch up with Mackie, Jake and Morry … and although it’s fair to say that their particular brand of music is not Elaine’s cup of tea; I would like to think I’m still in credit having sat through the Bay City Rollers, Bucks Fizz, Showaddwaddy and Jackie the Musical over the past couple of years.
 
(And yes darling, I know Cheryl et al were actually really good; and Leicester’s finest put on a decent show too … but “reputation” and all that…)
 
Fast forward to February and a slight change in tempo with a performance by Anita Harris, a singer who back in the day was one of the biggest entertainers on the planet. We met Anita a couple of years ago –and she was lovely; she’ll actually be 77 next year (on 3 June – we share a birthday if you want to start saving up for my present), but still looks absolutely amazing.
 
Much, much later … in 289 days’ time (give or take), we’ve got tickets to see Grease at the Sunderland Empire – starring Peter Andre…
 
... as Frenchie.
 
I made that bit up.
 
At this point I must reveal that back in 1978 I went to see the movie at a cinema in Hinckley (it’s in Leicestershire) with Auntie Florence and Auntie Betty. Forty-or-so years’ later I will have Elaine for company; I did ask if she wanted to go with a friend, but she replied: “No … We go together.”
 
“No problem.”
 
“Like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong…”
 
“Yeah, that’s fine; just us two then.”
 
“As shoo-bop sha wadda wadda yippity boom de boom…”
 
“Yes love; I get it…”
 
“Chang chang changitty chang sha-bop. That's the way it should be…”
 
“Finished?”
 
“Wah-oooh, yeah!”
 
“Finished now?”
 
“Yep!”