Instropective alert... I had kind of a funny night last night (that's peculiar not ha ha...) after watching the film Deep Impact.
On the face of it, the movie is another run-of-the-mill Earth facing disaster, but eventually surviving... just... with some of the main characters living to act another day, but others succumbing to the forces of nature... and/or a bloody great big comet.
The scene that got me (not quite, but almost in a Railway Childrenesque way) was when Jenny Lerner (played by Téa Leoni) and her father Jason (Maximilian Schell) embraced on a deserted beach as the tidal wave caused by the impact of the comet engulfed them. I know it’s only a film, but it was poignant and quite moving stuff... If you look below the surface, these two albeit fictional people were wiped from existence in an instant... everything they’d achieved... could or would achieve... simply swept away by the surging water...It begs the question what was the point..?
I’d like to think I do all I can to be a decent person, to be there for the people I love, to work hard to provide, and
hopefully to make the most of what is essentially a fleeting visit. Some manage to live a life that is both full and fulfilling; others aren’t quite so lucky and there’s nothing we can do to stop the wheels of fate from turning... so I’ll
ask the question again but in the present tense... What is the point?
Sometimes, not very often, but sometimes... I find myself wondering... and there surely has to be a point... surely..?!!
I’m not going to make a brilliant discovery, or change the world... but if self-justification is a reason for pondering the
imponderable... or at the very least the seemingly unanswerable, then I would say that the “point”... my point... is to make a difference.
Nothing earth-shattering; I’m not that clever or inspired, but simply for someone somewhere to stop one day... maybe many many years from now, think for a moment, perhaps even smile and say “Yes, he did make a difference...” – to me that’s pretty special.
To have reached where I am today... happily married to someone I love so much... has been so tough at times. Bad decisions, wrong turns... whatever... I’ve made plenty, but deep inside I know that for all my faults, I have tried to be true to the person I am... the person very few ever get to know... but the person who believes that if he can make even a small difference... then his question may ultimately be answered.
All my own work... almost.