I feel very anxious this morning... actually I have been for a while, but put it down to work and lack of sleep. Now I suppose it could be pre-holiday nerves, or (and this is more likely) me just carrying my half empty glass around with me. Wish there was just a switch you could flick to suddenly make the worldly cares disappear... or a way of adding just a few more drops to your glass to tip it into the “half full” zone. God I really bloody annoy myself sometimes...
There again, it has been a long year... in many ways quite a difficult one. Towards the end of 2011, I sank pretty low... and used this blog to kind of “reveal all”...something which I absolutely don’t regret; but there are still bad moments and difficult days and whilst I’m not naïve enough to think that “depression” in its varied forms ever goes away completely, I am so much better now than I was a few months ago...
That said, having a work restructure hanging over your head is always unsettling but let’s be honest it doesn’t take much for me to get into worry mode and if it wasn’t work it would be something else.
Very much on the plus side, I’ve got a fantastic family (parents, children, sister, nieces, nephew, cousins, aunties, uncles... I’m very lucky) and friendships that mean a hell of lot to me... maybe not many, but trust me it’s all about quality! Also, through the power of social networking, I have recently found (albeit in the virtual sense for now...) friends with whom I’d had no contact in over a quarter of a century; Ruth, Margaret (damn... Maggie... Maggie... Maggie... I must say Maggie)... it’s lovely to be back in touch.
But as we prepare to set sail for Italy, Montenegro, Croatia, Slovenia and Corfu... for what I really hope will be the “holiday of a lifetime”... now seems like the appropriate time to thank my wonderful wife Elaine, who has been there every single step of the way... when things were bad... when she didn’t understand... she never gave up on me. Thank you darling... and I love you... more than you will ever know xxx
All my own work... almost.