I was both surprised and really pleased at the reaction to my Prozac and Speed blog... I wasn’t sure whether opening up about something that most people would never guess by looking at me was the right thing to do, but the positive comments I’ve received were a fantastic vindication of the final decision.
Since then, I have had a full week without any significant bad episodes... I’m not naive enough to think the end of the tunnel is in sight, but I’d like to think I’ve turned a corner and am plodding along nicely towards the exit... however far away it may be.
There have still been moments when I feared a low was approaching, but so far I’ve managed to stay strong and positive (well reasonably) enough to shrug off those darker feelings. Having love and support at home has been so important... I know it’s a hard situation to understand unless you’ve experienced it for yourself, but Elaine has been brilliant... I certainly know how lucky I am to be able to share her life...
I’ve also got friends at work who are there for me and both my daughters now understand more about their father. Both Leigh-Ann and Rebecca have had a tough year in many respects, but they’ve shown such strength to overcome the obstacles placed in their respective paths. During these past twelve months, I feel like I’ve grown closer to them and talking openly about “difficult” issues is something they are both able to do... I certainly wasn’t blessed with such maturity in my twenties... and although I might be biased, they are two very special young women...
Maybe if I’d had the ability to talk more candidly about things when I was younger, my life might have headed in a different direction. But the fact is that I wouldn’t swap the life I’ve got now (and the people I love who are part of it) for anything – call it “fate” or the end justifying the means...I don’t know, but I know I’ve got a lot to be grateful for and a lot to keep fighting for.
So this is just a “thank you” to everyone who read my story, to those who were kind enough to comment or e-mail, but most of all to the people who make a difference each and every day...
During my time being smacked out of most local cricket grounds, I was capable of throwing my toys a long way when things didn’t go right... My toys might still be scattered over many an outfield, but the determination to fight... and to win is still there.
The next blog will include some attempts at humour, I promise!
All my own work... almost.