The idea for today’s offering came from my daughter Rebecca... she said I should write an “Agony Aunt” blog. Serious or light-hearted? She picked the former... it wouldn’t have been my choice...
I don’t know if I have the right credentials to advise anybody on affairs of the heart, or any of life’s ups and downs... unless the definition of “credentials” is naively blundering through adulthood and belatedly learning from numerous mistakes... then I’m your man!
In fairness, I haven’t had a great deal of opportunity to impart my own particular form of wisdom, although there have been a few “special” people down the years to whom I’ve listened and with whom I’ve shared... although my middle-aged reluctance to talk too openly comes courtesy of my enduring ability to misread people and discover only too late that many were nothing like they appeared. So if you’re reading this and you know me well enough to even partially understand a bit about how my mind works... then consider yourself privileged... you are officially “special”...
Damn... this is why I didn’t want this to be serious... I end up bloody thinking too much...
I always trusted far too easily in the past, but the pain of life-changing consequences hardens you to a certain extent I suppose and much as I would now have second (and probably third, fourth and fifth) thoughts about giving away anything too specific about myself, I do consider myself to be “a good listener” – although with only one working ear, even that phrase isn’t strictly accurate.
In fairness, concentrating on someone else can provide a temporary shelter from your own issues... but subsequent time alone always allows the mind ample opportunity to exert its own influence and much as I understand my 47 year-old self a little better than the person I was three decades ago (the rather grainy photo is me aged 18...), there are still dark recesses that contain long-hidden thoughts and emotions. Now that I am lucky enough to have genuine “trust” and “love” in my life, some of those feelings have been brought to the surface... it’s a painful process at times, but I owe it to the people I love to be the best and strongest person I can be; to repay the faith and love that I maybe don’t deserve, but have received nonetheless.
So maybe the“credentials” needed to be a positive influence in someone’s life are less to do with the time it took to learn from your mistakes... maybe it’s simply the fact that you fought hard enough to get there in the end..?
I hope so...
All my own work... almost.